Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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