i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize