Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
