get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
