So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
why do cheetos always look like penises
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
