yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
