My cat gives me a boner
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
