i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
