We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
