do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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