note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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