I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
