she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize