her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
