I cannot find my penis.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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