Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
