you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
