you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
