have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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