covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
