You're my little dorito
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
