Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
