I heard we made out
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
