he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize