he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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