I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
