Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
