So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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