I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
