I think I won the penis lottery.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
