Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
