You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
not ubering you a puppy
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