she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
