You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
