He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
