she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He felt like a one man threesome
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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