In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
