i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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