Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
