i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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