his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
try to milk me bitch
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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