woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
