It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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