If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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