But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize