dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize