lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
