During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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