I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Couch. On fire.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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