so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
