im about as happy as oj after his trial
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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