Your tits are I can't wait for
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
