"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
