i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
