If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
