the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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