i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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