he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
