Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
