just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
