He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
