Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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