Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
