but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
