yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
